Sex Lives chronicles the evolution of one person’s sexual history. This week: Patrick, 52, Indianapolis, IN.
The first time I jacked off, I remember being in a tub by myself, and I got an erection. And I remember whacking off and coming. It must have been mental stimulation because I was in the bath. I don’t remember having a magazine. It was the 70s, so you didn’t have a cell phone to bring up porn. It was all imagination.
I’m pretty sure I was 16 when I lost my virginity, and she was a lot more experienced than me. I remember the first time having sex and laying there like just frozen because I didn’t have a clue. But thankfully, well, hopefully, I got better. As I said, she was more experienced than I was. When you’re 16, any time you can have sex, you’re having sex. We were dating, and she knew it was my first time. After that, we had sex a lot. She and I worked together, and my mom worked as a nurse and worked either 7 a.m. to 7 p.m. or 7 p.m. to 7 a.m., so there was normally no parent at my house, so we’d go back to my house and have sex.
I went to college for a year; it didn’t work out. I joined the National Guard right out of high school, so I went to basic training, returned home, and attempted college. I was not mature enough to go to college. I’d had a few girlfriends in high school. I didn’t hook up with anybody in basic training. During my first attempt at college, I did hook up with one or two girls. I was working at a restaurant then, and I hooked up with a couple of waitresses there. And then, I started dating the lady that would turn out to be the mother of my first child; we never got married.
We had a class together, and I thought she was cute. We started talking. I don’t know how long we dated before she got pregnant—maybe six or eight months. After she got pregnant, we tried to make it work, but it didn’t work. I ended up joining the Army; I was in the Army for seven or eight years. My first duty station was in Korea. I actually had sex with a couple of Korean women and two or three American women when I was over there. [The mother of my first kid and I] weren’t dating anymore; that was finished. So I was free. One of the Korean women didn’t speak English, so that was interesting. I felt like that was one of those situations where I was like: What is going on? We can’t really communicate, but apparently, we can have sex.
The sex with one of the women at the restaurant always seems to stand out—and I mean, I’ve had sex with a decent amount of women. We had sex a few times. There was one night when she was not going to let me get soft; she wanted to have sex. She blew me the first time, and as soon as she got done blowing me, she jumped on me, and we started having sex, and I came again. At that point, I figured, okay, we’re done. It’s not like I had a ton of experience then, but most of my experience was that most women don’t want to have sex for a very long time. When I came again, she was like, “Nope, I’m gonna keep you up, and we’re gonna keep going.” I think I came four times. I’d never come that many times (maybe I’d had sex multiple times in a day over an eight to 10-hour period). But she was just like, “I want to have a lot of sex tonight!” And of course, as a guy, you’re like: Yeah, okay. I’m not like I’m not saying no!
