Jon Stewart Takes Down Corporate America’s Fake Morality

Jon Stewart celebrated Pride Month by exposing the fake morality of corporate America on The Daily Show.

Read: The Republican Presumptive Nominee for President is A Convicted Felon

Stewart said:

Why are we allowing ourselves to get worked up over whether giant, multi-national corporations are pro-gay or have traditional American values? Because corporations have but one value: Shareholder value. That’s all they have! That Budweiser horse that wants to restore our American spirit? It’s actually owned by a Belgian-Brazilian beverage conglomerate! That “all-American” Clydesdale’s name is probably Jean-Luc Bolsonaro. Even the corporations you think are sincere, like Dove and their multi-year commitment to body positivity, are owned by Unilever, also the owner of Axe body spray and their decades-long commitment to [bleep] Anything that moves!

There is nothing corporations do that is not in service of their bottom line. Even when you go to the checkout at the grocery store and the little card reader thing says, “You want to round up to help feed some children?” Well, the first thing I think is, “You’re the one with all the food, [bleep], why don’t you round some of that up?” And then they got the balls to put out a press release talking about how much money they donated to stop world hunger. That’s my money! You tell those kids that’s my money!

Let’s stop pretending that a corporation can even be woke or unwoke, or patriotic or unpatriotic.
Let’s just let corporations live their truth as the profit-seeking Patrick Bateman psychopaths they are. At the very least, we might finally –We might finally get some honesty from them as well.


Jon Stewart was right. Corporations don’t care about morality, because corporations aren’t people. They don’t have a conscience, or emotions, or logic. Corporations have one goal, and that is to say and do anything to make as much money as possible.

The next time some conservative gets outraged at a corporation, remember that the corporation will give in quickly if it means keeping the profits flowing.

We don’t need to know what a corporation thinks about Pride Month, or Black History Month, because corporations don’t think about anything. Corporations will say and do anything to protect their profits. They aren’t on your side unless you are a shareholder.

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